Have you ever asked yourself this question?

If you really LOVE who you are?

Over the years, I've asked many women this question.

"DO YOU LOVE YOU?"

And the answer would always be YES. I mean who would have the audacity to think that they don't love themselves right?

After all, we go for regular shopping sprees, have our nails and massages done.

That's all good. It's good to have a healthy self care regime and taking care of your body.

BUT the question remains. Do you love YOU completely?

Have you ever judged yourself for being too fat? Have you ever told yourself that you hate yourself? Or that you're not good enough?

I've realised some years back that I don't really love myself.

I had conditions before I can love myself.

YET... the funny thing is that when I look at my children, I can honestly say I love them all - unconditionally.


I love waking up every single morning with my little one by my side.

And I asked myself if I love myself the same way?

The answer is unfortunately NO. 

WHY THE HELL NOT?


Interesting isn't it?

I never needed my children to be anything but themselves for me to love them.

So why the double standard?

Why am I being so mean to my Inner Child?

I know I can love. I know I can, otherwise I wouldn't have those intense feelings for my children.



That being said, as much as I love being a mother, I also realised that I don't allow myself to connect with my children on a deeper level.

Because I don't know how to love myself.

The reason is simple.

I don't know how to mother them because I don't know how to mother myself because I didn't have a mother who mothered me the way I wanted.

This is also the reason why I can't love myself unconditionally because my mother didn't love me unconditionally.

And all the voices in my head was my mother's!

I was living my mother's life and her fears.

Now that I'm aware, what am I going to do about it?

I don't and can't blame my mother for not loving me the way I wanted because she didn't know how to love herself either.

And if she wasn't the mother that she is, I would have become the woman and I am.

I used to blame her for my life. But really... is it her fault now?



After all, I'm a full grown woman who can make her own sound decisions.

I blamed her as part of my excuse to remain a victim. So that I would have an interesting story to tell. I wanted love through sympathy.

Anyway, now that I know better, I will do better.

Now that I know that the voices in my head that criticises me and tell me that I'm not good enough are not mine, I can turn them around. I can choose to ignore them.

How to turn the voices in your head around?


Simple.

Question the thoughts. Once you question the thoughts, you take your power back.

"Is it true that I'm fat and ugly?"

"Is it true that I'm unlovable?"

"Is it true that I need a man to be happy?"

"Is it true that I'm useless?"

"WHO'S VOICE DOES THIS BELONG TO?"

See... when I saw myself as a child, just like my children, will I say these nasty things to me as a child?"

NO! Of course not!


You may think you've NO control over what you think.

YOU DO!

Another good exercise is to write all your thoughts down. WRITE. Don't type it out on your computer or phone.

There's something magical when you WRITE! It changes your brain chemistry.

And the you can see all the LIES you've been telling yourself.

We've 60,000 thoughts a day and they're mostly unconscious thought patterns. If you don't become conscious of them, you'll think the same thoughts day in and day out.

Same shit. Different day.

When you know how to love you, then you can teach others to love you the right way. And you'll no longer have to tolerate any relationships that don't bring joy to you.

YES! Raise your standards. You can do that because no one will care if you don't care about you.

You don't have to tolerate people who don't value you. And no need to feel guilty for leaving them alone.

It's not your job to keep them happy. It's your job to keep YOU happy.

I wish you well!













© Elyse-Anne.com 2017 | For the Smart Woman who is Ready to Drop Codependency & Become the Woman She has Always Wanted to be! | I'm a visionary and I look at the big picture so please excuse any grammar mistakes if there's any.

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